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by losr



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bittersweet, Child Armin, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Genderfluid Hange, I cried while writing this, M/M, Petra is my child, SLOW AS FUCK BURN BUT I SWEAR ISSA GONNA BE LIT, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Terminal Illnesses, The Lumineers inspired, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, Violence, am I making Marco and ymir siblings? Yes, and I ugly cry so it was really bad, child eren, child mikasa, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-14 02:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10526652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losr/pseuds/losr
Summary: The wig didn't fit her well. Even now subpar on her small frame. It was pathetic really, her hair had always been a soft cinnamon color. Not whatever orange abomination laid on her head now. But Levi didn't know why he was focused on it.The casket would be closed in minutes.Whatever color hair that Petra had would be gone to the ground forever.The same cancer that had taken her mother and sister had never even given her a chance.But Levi couldn't think about all of that right now.All he could think about were the two hands holding onto him between sobs, his kids never deserved any of this.That, and about that horrible, fucking atrocious wig.





	1. Bleach

**Author's Note:**

> Yall, I'm emo and this made me slightly less emo.  
> Once again, trigger warnings about eating and self harm and depression.  
> Please let me know if you guys have any ideas on how to improve this!  
> And also, Eruri makes me sob. Blink if your agree.

**HANGE’S POV**

Hange had never had it easy. Having long hair had ruffle a few feathers in their small town. Refusing to have interest in any social interaction had also tripped a few people up, but by far, having assisted in the shotgun wedding between the beloved sheriff’s daughter and the ‘street rat’ drifter had been the definite cause for the shunning she received in the small town of maybe 600. And by the dear Lord’s mercy, although most had the nerve to keep it whispered in the back of pews, Hange didn’t miss the rumours.

 

That the cancer that had taken her beloved friend’s life hadn’t been a bad case of genetic makeup and too late catching but rather that it had been God’s will. The speculation had, unsurprisingly, reminded Hange why she hadn’t been the church since she was a young child. And also the reason for why she was no longer allowed in the town’s local grocery store. But if asked, she would dispute that bashing the guy against the pickle jar was totally called for, I mean she could take ‘tranny’ jokes for months and had done so but hearing the words ‘the whore deserved it’....well he was just lucky that Hange had had a sick Eren at home.

 

Sweeping her hair to up in a ponytail, Hange fixed the dirty apron to her waist as she helped cook lunch for her beloved Eren and Mikasa Ackerman. Had Levi been sober or any level of sane at the moment, she would have gotten the chewing out of a lifetime for so much as staining his heavenly domain a.k.a his beloved kitchen. But as Levi had been locked inside his room since the funeral, nursing a shattered soul with whatever vodka he had before sworn Petra he would never touch, well Hange didn’t have to worry too much about him at the moment.

 

Breaking free from that though, Hange Zoe had to laugh at her own thoughts. She almost couldn’t believe it but she missed the short psycho she called her only beloved friend left. All bones and skin, Hange could still recall Petra’s pleas for her to take him in on the day Petra had dragged Levi’s sorry ass to her home. Hange having long moved out on her own after deciding she had had enough passive aggressive christian guilting for a lifetime had taken one look at her small and only friend holding on to the Levi boy as if she were clinging to her only hope and had allowed him to stay.

 

An year later, Hange had silently cheered from her room as she heard Levi finally say ‘I love you’ to Petra. She wish she could say she didn’t ruin the moment walking in with a box of twinkies and saying ‘finally’ but she totally had.

2 years later, Hange had been the witness at Petra and Levi’s wedding. Petra had looked stunning in a second hand dress they had salvaged. Even Levi had cleaned up well, eyes as bright as the candles that burned behind them. The very same day, Levi had knocked out Petra’s dad in a single punch as Petra hurled her small suitcase into the back of Hange’s car and they took off down the too rural roads of their small town. Hange’s house had grown to three.

2 years after that, Hange had been the one to hold Petra’s other hand as they welcomed little Mikasa Ackerman into the world. In the dim light of the hospital room, Mikasa’s laughter had been systematically categorized as one of the greatest sounds Hange had ever heard alongside Weezer’s Blue album. Hange’s home was now up to four.

Just a year after that, Eren had joined Hange’s home of misfits and had garnered Hange with a truth she had never thought she’d face. That after years of being alone, she finally had a home. In the midst of blueberry bushes that grew alongside the house, Hange’s house was no longer a house but a home.

 

But now, even Hange knew their home was no more. There would be no small Petra to coax her out of her room. No Petra to fix up Levi’s hands after his shifts at the Wood mill across town. No sweet, small Petra to stop the house from burning down. As Eren had told her last night, the house wasn’t as cozy as before.

 

Flipping over the grilled cheese sandwiches she had whipped up, Hange took in the desolate wasteland that had become their once cozy and comely home. Toys were strewn about as haphazardly as clothes. Shoes of all sizes scattered the soft carpet as if in a bizarre game of twister. Eren sat, in nothing but blue shorts as his eyes stayed glued to the cartoons playing on their small tv set. It was a bad habit, but Hange figured the kids deserved as much slack as possible. And if the comfort that Eren found in the bright colors of the late night cartoons softened the blow of his mother’s passing and father’s absence then who was Hange to interrupt that.

However a sudden tugging shook Hange out of her own thoughts as she looked down, eyes meeting with young Mikasa.

 

“Hey, Mika. What do you need beautiful?” Hange asked the smaller girl softly, Lowering herself to better meet the young girl.

 

“Aunt Hange...the teacher says you can’t sign for my permission slips anymore. She says it has to be a parent.” Mikasa replied quietly, the poor girl’s mane of black hair reminding Hange she would have to take her for a trim soon.

 

“It’s ok, Mika. I’ll get Levi to sign this one. It’ll do him good to be out of the dark room. Where are you going this time?”

 

“The flower garden over in Newbury.”

 

“Ah. Well remind me so I can pack you an extra good lunch that day, ok honey?” Hange replied, getting up and turning off the stove as she began to serve the sandwiches but upon noticing Mikasa had yet to leave the kitchen. Hange stopped and lowered herself back to the young girl’s sight.

 

“Anything else, Mika?” Hange whispered softly as the girl lowered her sight.

 

Mikasa’s voice cracking as she responded, the poor girl hung on to her aunt with all her strength.” Aunt Hange, can you tell daddy I’m sorry? Can you tell him I’m sorry me and Eren remind him of mom. Please aunt Hange.” Mikasa sobbed as she let herself be pushed into Hange’s grasp.

 

And something in Hange broke.

 

 

**LEVI'S POV**

How fucked was it. That her gravestone read as 'Beloved wife, mother, and daughter'. When Petra had been everything and so much more. His one light in the darkness of his 25 years before Eren and Mikasa had been born. The ever gleaming salvation that had offered him a home when he would have otherwise been shaking on a street corner somewhere. Love had blossomed the day she had given him a sweater on the corner of Maple and 5th and that same love had never quite died. Until now. Laying buried six feet under with Petra herself.

 

Levi sobbed, his small figure grasping their floral duvet that they had bought as newlyweds just 8 years prior. He and Petra were suppose to grow old together in this house. Grow old with their children and even Hange, for fuck’s sake. Mark their heights on the wall in the hallway. Cheer Eren on during his soccer games. Brag about their genius Mikasa during all her teacher conferences to come. Both help force Hange to shower after her weeklong lab runs in the basement. They would have fought, loved, and grown among the berry bushes and quiet streams on Petra's comely home town. But now Petra was dead and Levi was lost.

 

Staring into the darkening light streaming in through the small window above their bed, Levi Ackerman had accepted his life would never have a happy ending from a young age. But this had been too fucking much. Just when they would be able to afford for Petra to start taking classes again at the local college, just when Mikasa had started talking more, just when he had received word that his shift manager had been growing fond of his work ethic and a promotion was on the horizon - that’s when it had all gone to shit.

It had started with a frenzied call from Mikasa on the home phone. ‘Mom fell down the stairs’ had been sputtered out between sobs and screams for Eren not to move her. And Levi had been off. Telling Mikasa to call an ambulance and not willing to wait around for the train that took the wood mill workers back home, Levi had ran all ten miles to the only emergency room in town. Breaking through the lobby’s door with sweat pouring down his body, Levi saw his children’s hands still covered in blood as they cried, answering questions from a police man that couldn’t have been much older than Levi by himself. Pushing the officer aside and picking them up in his arms, Levi had walked past the nurses urging him to go home. When he reached Petra’s room, he realized why.

In the place of the beaming wife he had left that morning before the crack of dawn, now stood an imposter with the same face and hair. With tubes pumping through her bodies and what must have been the town’s entire supply of all two doctors surrounding her, they had taken one look at Levi and asked him to take a seat.

 

And thats when it had all gone to shit.

 

X rays that had hoped to capture possible broken ribs had found much more, lumps and bumps - too numerous in number saturating every last one of her organs. Of course Levi had known of the ovarian cancer that had taken Petra’s mother and sister all too well, but what he hadn’t know about was the long held weakness Petra had pushed off as overworking. Levi had not known about how often the disease was a silent one until too late or how quickly it could invade a small body already suffering an impaired immune system from a childhood of sickness. Weeks later, as he sponged Petra’s small body in their tub - Levi would recall her father’s screaming as they drove away from her house all those years ago. Holding his broken nose, Petra’s father had screamed that God would punish Levi for destroying his young girl’s future and Levi now knew that God had. Not through sickness or illness to him, no, God would not be so merciful to a sinner like himself. God had hit him where it would hurt most, God had taken his first ever hope at a happy ending away much too soon.

 

Swigging back the cheap gas station vodka that he had sworn Petra he had thrown away so long ago, Levi wiped away at the tears that even now did not leave his poor body.

 

It had been three months since Petra had passed. Three months since the funeral that saw him fall to his knees in blasphemy and curse God for all he was worth, poor Mikasa and Hange helping him up as Eren cried beside him. Two months since Petra’s father had shown up outside his work with some other local men and had beaten Levi’s form into a bloody pulp, Levi knew he could have easily beat them but at that point he had wanted nothing more for the sweet relief that the pain offered. Even now, his body still showed the scars of steel toed boots meeting with sallow skin. One month since he had bothered to leave the room after his shift manager could no longer ignore the growing pressure to fire the man ‘responsible’ for the loss of one of their own. Three weeks since had could no longer the strength to look at his children who reminded him of Petra with every breath they took. Two weeks since he had bothered to supplement his diet with anything besides cheap alcohol and whatever Hange could force down his throat. One week since, the usual germaphobe had last stepped into the shower.

 

Zero minutes since the last time he thought about Petra. Not the Petra that had been lucid as she cried for her mother the last few days. Bald and small as she sat on their bed, only able to clutch her children and Levi on the last of her days in a moment of clarity.

 

No, Levi thought about the Petra who had loved him. So fully and so strongly that his poor, tattered soul had sewn itself back together. The Petra he had chased after in between the lines of clothes drying next to their home and who had awarded him kisses upon her capture. The Petra wh-

 

“Hey Levi.” Hange’s voice broke past the locked wooden door.

 

“Not today, shitty glasses.” Levi replied, his own hoarse voice surprising him as he rubbed at his eyes.

 

But hearing a huge crash as the wooden door was kicked in, Levi shielded his eyes from the hallway light that poured in. In moments, Hange’s arm grasped his smaller form but Levi didn’t fight back. He owed Petra that much.

 

 

**HANGE'S POV**

Being on the other end of forced bath were much funner than Hange could have imagined. As she pushed her hands through Levi’s hair, she marveled at his current state. Immaculate hair now grew over his eyes, skin pulled thin across what once had been a defined and muscular form, marred further from bruises and cuts she had long given up on being explained for.

 

“Mikasa, pass me the soap please. Your papa smells like Even,” Hange teased as Eren’s protest exploded from the other end of the tub where he sat alongside his sister. Hange had weighed the pros and cons of allowing them inside the bathroom as she scrubbed down Levi for the first time in days but had decided to allow it, if only to allow Levi to see he still had people that cared for him.

 

As mikasa passed over the pink soap to Hange, Hange continued pushing the soft towel over Levi.

 

“You know. For someone who use to quite literally shower me down with a hose. You’re becoming quite the unhygienic one, dear Levi.”

 

“Bite me,”

 

“Even I have my limits,

 

With that reply, Mikasa showed her first smile of the day. Hange knew that the poor girl was no doubt in shock at the form she currently found her father in but Hange also knew that Mikasa needed to see her father in his state. If only to excuse his absence in the slightest. Closing off the water, Hange reached for Levi’s green towel that hung off the door’s hook.

 

“Mika, can you wrangle Eren into his pjs. I’ll be over in a minute to read you guys a story.ok?”

 

Mikasa got up, her hand skimming the bubbles that had overtaken the surface of the bath. Grabbing Eren’s hand who has so far stayed silent merely dragging one of his rubber ducks over the surface, nodded. Walking past Hange to get the door, Mikasa stopped and leaned in to kiss Levi on his forehead. The worn down man having said nothing as he had been forced into the shower. Choosing to close his eyes as Hange’s hands had washed the warm water over his body.

 

“Sure Hange...get better daddy. I love you.” Mikasa replied as the slight girl made her way over to her and Eren’s room just a door down.

 

Closing the door behind Mikasa, Hange leaned against the marble counter. Pushing escaped strands of hair out of her face, Hange turned to face the still stoic Levi.

 

“You can open your eyes now. They’re gone.” Still no action was made by Levi causing Hange to roll her eyes.

“You know...we miss her too. We all miss her a lot. But this, this isn’t a way to live Levi.”

 

Levi groaned as he opened his eyes, his eyes squinting as they became used to the fluorescent lighting he hadn’t seen in days, choosing instead to use the half bathroom in his room in pure darkness these last few weeks.

 

“I already fucking know that, shitty glasses.”

 

“Do you really? Do you know your daughter thinks you hate her?

 

“I don’t.” Levi replied as he lifted his figure from the shower while wrapping the towel extended in Hange’s grasp.

 

“Well, then, if not for my sake. Then do it for Petra, and act like it.” Hange retorted, pushing away her sight to salvage Levi’s modesty as he emptied the drain.

 

“It’s been hard.”

 

“Yeah well it’s been hard on all of us too,” Getting up Hange helped Levi gain his footing as he stepped on the linoleum tiles. “ Petra wouldn’t want you to be like this. That’s all I wanted to tell you.” Making sure Levi had his balance, Hange made her way out of the bathroom and down the hall, hearing the small click of the door’s lock behind her. Hange prayed for the first time since she was a small child. She prayed that today Levi would find the strength to start living again. If not for himself, then for his kids that had already felt too much sorrow for their age.

 

**LEVI'S POV**

Opening the drawer in the small bathroom, Levi Ackerman refused to meet the gaze of the mirror in front of him. Pushing away Hange’s medications and Eren’s ADHD medication, Levi Ackerman found what he was looking for in the shape of scissors at the bottom of the drawer. Still refusing to look into the mirror, Levi brought the scissors to his hair and began to cut at the excess hair that framed his otherwise thin face. He was probably massacring his hair, he was probably doing this impulsively but the last person to have cut his hair was Petra and he would be damned if anyone else ever deserved that place.

 

Feeling his head significantly lighter, Levi placed the scissors in the sink, opening his eyes to the mirror and taking a deep breath. Levi took in his pathetic shape and stood in silence as his eyes raked over his bruised and thin form.

 

Hange was right, he needed to live again. Petra, didn’t have a choice on whether she lived or died. He did.

 

Drying his figure off, Levi led himself out of the bathroom. Stopping only momentarily to hear the snores of Eren, Mikasa and Hange, who no doubt had fallen asleep cuddling both - behind the closed door of their bedroom. Walking into his bedroom and sitting down on the duvet, Levi picked up one of the shirts he had thrown out of his closet in a fit of anger a few weeks. Bringing it over his head, Levi let the oversized shirt graze past his thighs as he stuffed his figure into a pair of boxers and sweats - all clothes now oversized in the wake of what had been a 20 pound weight loss for him in the last few weeks of mourning.

 

Finding his phone amidst the empty bottles and clothes that layered his clothes. Levi shoved it into his pocket and donned on the work boots he had discarded by the door. Walking back into the house, Levi felt his body ache slightly from the sudden flood of movement he faced, taking in the mess before him. Levi began to wipe away at the counters and organize the chaos before him - after all if they were to move the next morning, then they would have to leave the house as neat as possible.

 

For Levi knew of only two absolute truths at the moment.

  1. Hange would never cook for his children again if the grotesque amount of frozen food was anything to go off.
  2. And two, he wouldn’t allow himself to ever die in this town. He owed Petra, at least that much



 

Putting his hands to work, Levi Ackerman and his faithful bucket of washing products sorted through the months of grime that had befallen his home. One round and the carpet was yet again barren. Two rounds and the kitchen once again resided his place of pride where he would bake endless sweets for Hange and the kids. Three rounds and the smell of lemon cleaner permeated the air, now empty with only the subtle snoring and crickets giving him company. On his fourth full bottle of bleach, Levi could once again see the gleam of his sallow reflection against all the counters in the house. On his fifth one, Levi could finally walk in his room once again now gone the lingering smell of cheap vodka. And by the time the sun’s rays cracked against the kitchen windows, Levi had already packed his own trunk. The bottom most layer comprised of clothes. The second layer full of important documents, and the upper most top layer featured baby albums and every last picture of Petra he could find, all wrapped lovingly in the shirts that most still carried her scent.

 

As Hange arose from the kid’s room, Levi shoved a coffee into her hands.

 

“I’m going to go to the bank and run some last errands. Have everything packed in two hours.” Levi stated evenly as he threw his old jean jacket over himself, watching as Hange rubbed at her own eyes and gave him a quizzical look - Levi expected protest.

 

But as Hange took a sip from her favorite coffee cup, she nodded. “I’ll help the kids pack too.”

 

Turning to the door for the first time in a month, as Levi walked out of the door, he heard the faintest, “ Petra would be proud of you, Levi.”

 

Two hours later, Levi returned back home with arms full of groceries and a full check for his bank balance from the town’s only bank.  While out he had received his fair share of surprised stares from the local townspeople he ran into but thanks to his pitiful state - which he had yet to declare as a definite good or bad thing - they had allowed him to go through his tasks without interruption. And if Hange were to ask, he would say that the grocery and bank were the only places he visited. But if she ever cross checked with the no doubt police report to be issued later today, would there also be an account of Sheriff Ral’s getting his mailbox run over but maybe that was just the delinquent streak of him that not even Petra had completely cured from him.

 

Stepping through his household, Levi saw his children seated at the small counter as they chowed down some waffles he had left Hange to heat up. Scooping them an instant after dropping the groceries on the sofa to his left, Levi allowed himself to be enveloped in the embrace of his two children. Feeling a small wet stain from tears that left his only daughter’s eyes - Levi too allowed himself to be swept up in the emotional reunion.

 

Choking back a sob, Levi allowed himself to come undone under the gaze of his two kids.“I’m sorry for these last few months. I will never fucking again do that. I love you both so much, please forgive me.Please, I am so sorry.” Levi pleaded, his face still buried in the dark hair of his children as their arms still clung to his torso and neck.

 

“It’s ok, daddy. We still love you, right Eren?” Mikasa replied, still grasping her father in a steel embrace.

 

Eren nodded into the crook of his father’s neck as the small family continued their embrace. Putting his children down, Levi nodded at Hange, who had been quietly wiping away a tear at the display.

 

“Are you ready?” Levi asked as Mikasa and Eren buttoned up their jackets with his help.

 

“Where are we going?” Hange asked, putting away the last of the dishes into the dishwasher and she pulled up her own hoodie. Having already put her own bags and Levi’s in the car, Hange helped lift the smaller suitcases as she followed Levi, arms heavy with groceries, to their car outside.

 

“As far away from here as we can.”

 

“Good enough from me.”

 

“But first-”

 

“The cemetery?”

 

“Yes.” With that response, Levi sat himself in the driver’s seat as Hange finished seating the kid in their car chairs. Taking her side in the passenger’s seat and resending a message to her realtor about her impromptu renting of her home - Hange put on her seatbelt as their small car made it’s way past the houses that had for too long plagued all of them.

 

 

**HANGE'S POV**

The cemetery always freaked out Hange. The ground too stiff and the heavy scent of moss always too prevalent but the spot they had chosen for Petra had been perfect.

 

Hidden by the shadow of one of the larger moss trees in the grounds, even now was Petra’s headstone stood spotless from frequent cleanings every Sunday when Hange would bring the kids over for a picnic. The flowers that lined her plot now full blown in the heat of the June sun. She had been right when she had told Levi she would plant seeds at her burial.

 

Sitting down next to the kids, Hange stared at Levi from where he stood - forehead touching the cold granite of Petra’s stone.

 

He hadn’t been here as often as she and the kids had. Choosing instead to have stayed abay since the funeral that had seen him grasping at the dirt being thrown in but in the moment - Hange wondered if this was the best moment for him to have returned. The car still running, Hange had made her peace months back after having wept at the plot one fateful spring night but she wondered if Levi would be able to do the same especially with his kids watching closely for fear he would break down once more.

But as if reading her thoughts, Levi stood up and brushed the dirt of his sweats.

 

“Are you sure you’re ready, Levi? I can just turn off the car if you want to take your ti-”

 

“If not now, I’ll never be.” Levi replied as he took his children’s hands into his. As the small group of four made their way back to their beat up car, Hange took one last look at her best friend's spot.

 

Maybe not soon, but she promised they would visit again.


	2. Hoover Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but wow, the next chapter is going to be a treat! Thank you so much for any kudos and comments, I tend to be kind of slow due to some antidepressants I'm on that make me feel unmotivated af but any support helps me perk up so thank u guys! :)

**BERTOLT’S POV**

Bertolt wasn’t good with a lot of things.

He wasn’t good with telling his mother to stop nagging him as her soft voice spoke arabic to him late into the night.

He wasn’t good with telling the grocery store next to him to stop leaving trash out in front of their shared sidewalk.

And he definitely wasn’t good in terms of reaching Annie, his fiance who had left him at the altar just six months before, through message or call.

 

But Bertolt was good with soft dough between his fingers and free styling colorful icing like no one’s damn business, and he thought that was good enough. Pushing some strands of his hair out of his face with his elbows, Bertolt lifted the heavy tray he had been working on for the last hour. An intricate piece of cake featuring 200 book titles neatly printed by hand for the opening of ‘Mina Carolina’s Book Emporium’ two streets over, Bertolt finally allowed his lungs to take in a much awaited deep breathe as he was finally able to stretch his hunched over state. It hadn’t been easy order to take on and he was greatly undercharging for the cost of labor but Bertolt knew that his love for his works more than made up for the fact most of his work weeks greatly expanded past 60 hours.

Breaking him out of though however, his cashier Sasha Braus thundered into the back of the bakery with her usual large smile, “BERTL! There’s someone who asked about the ‘Wanted Sign’ out front! See, I told you that me and Connie painting it in neon green would do the job!” Sasha said excitedly as she helped undo the flour stained apron that circled Bertolt’s thin waist.

“Sounds great Sasha, I’ll be out in a second. What do they look like?

“Short….short and really angry.”

 

**LEVI’S POV**

Under better circumstances, it definitely wouldn’t have been his first choice to apply too but Levi figured he could make wonders for the place as he swiped his finger across the table he sat in. Dirty, just as he expected. But beyond the subpar cleaning level of the cozy cafe/bakery - Levi couldn’t quite protest the otherwise pleasant setup. The chairs were all soft and large with deep burgundy and brown colors, like something he would expect in a writer’s den. The tables were a deep mahogany all with intricate carving on the legs and the overall light of the cafe set the place in a warm layer that reminded him of days curled up with Petra and the kids.

But right now, he couldn’t afford to linger on the setting as the lumbering owner came out of the back room of the cafe. He was by far much taller than Levi but looked to be younger with big eyes that gave him a shy appearance and his hands covered in what looked to be food dye. The young man walked out into the bakery still stretching his arms as if stiff and surveyed the small but bustling scene that met him. Looking around as the cashier nudged him in the ribs, his eyes had set upon Levi and he began his trek toward the corner seat that Levi had settled in.

Straightening his back, Levi stood up to shake hands with the giant who he hoped would hire him.

 

“Hello, my pleasure to meet you. My name is Levi Ackerman and I noticed the ‘Help wanted’ sign outside.” Levi stated

 

“Oh hello Mr.Ackerman, nice to meet you too. My name is Bertolt Hoover and I heard you wouldn’t mind if I just went ahead and asked you some interview questions now?” The man, Bertolt responded. His voice surprisingly low in the same way Levi was often told his voice was as well.

 

“Oh sure,” Levi replied a little self consciously as they sat down. Cursing Hange in his mind, Levi had originally wanted to go back to the motel and take a quick shower before stepping in as they had seen the sign while picking up groceries with the children but Hange had persuaded him to go in immediately instead. A choice which he now regretted as they took their seats at the small corner location.

 

“So, Levi. How long have you lived in New Rockford?” Bertolt asked, pushing his hands together as he seemed to melt into the overly plushy seat opposite Levi’s.

 

“About two weeks honestly.” Good job Levi, now he would think you were just a drifter Levi thought as he noted the raised eyebrow of the lean man in front of him.

 

“Oh. Well how are you liking it so far?” Bertolt asked.

 

“It’s very...small. Reminds me of the place we moved from.” Levi commented and it had. Everything from the impossibly small population of less than a thousand and it’s just handful of businesses had struck a nerve with Levi as they had pulled into it’s only motel a mere 10 blocks away. Hange had woken up abruptly from her nap and had taken in the brick and wooden layout of all the buildings, “this is the place?” Hange had asked, her voice subtly concerned as Levi got out of the car and began to unbuckle Mikasa and Eren. Swinging his sleepy son over his shoulder and helping Mikasa gain her balance, Levi had nodded. The place struck a chord of nostalgia but more than a thousand miles away from South Carolina and after 25 hours in the car - Levi had deemed the small town good enough. Snapping out of the thought, Levi was brought back by another question from Bertolt.

 

“I know what you mean, I think I’ve known the same group of people my entire life. But can I ask you, how good are you with cleaning and baking? You don’t have to be certified or anything but I would love to have someone that can help with cleaning up and rotating mixes in the oven while I’m busy. God bless Connie and Sasha, they act very responsible for their age but I wouldn’t trust those two within an inch of the kitchen.” Bertolt asked, taking the brief moment of Levi’s space out to once again stretch his long arms behind his head.

 

Levi nodded enthusiastically, “ I could definitely handle both tasks. I use to work at a wood mill back home but if anything that just showed me how to use cleaning solutions better and I also know my way pretty well around the kitchen. Used to bake stuff for my kids all the time.” Levi replied. Stressed until he saw a small smile reach the man before him.

 

“Well that’s good enough for me. Sorry if I sound rushed but we’ve already been without assistant bakers for a month and I’ve felt very overwhelmed. The starting wage starts at 10 dollars. Not much but I can bump it up to 15 in a month if everything works out.” Bertolt offered, extending his large hand across the table to a surprised Levi.

 

“No, that sounds great. When should I start?” Levi replied, shaking the tan and calloused hand before him. Bertolt got up and stretched his arms one last time as he heard the soft bell on the table began to jingle more frequent with the rush of people hoping to pick up some pastries for late night coffee runs.

 

“As soon as you wash your hands in the back, I’ll go grab an apron for you.” Bertolt replied. Making his descent back behind the wooden counter that ran around the front of the cafe, Levi followed and felt for, what seemed in forever, some hope settle into his heart.

 

**HANGE’S POV**

“So how was it, Levi? I knew you would get hired on the spot!” Hange exclaimed as she ambushed a weary Levi at the entrance to their small motel room. Levi rubbed his eyes, the scent of vanilla still permeating his hands from endless rounds of cookies that bertolt called ‘Colossal Vanilla giants’. A bestseller that , Levi had learned the hard way, sold out within minutes of being put into display. Nearly 50 pounds of flour later, a group late dinner in which they closed the cafe for thirty minutes that was purchased by Bertolt himself and some hours spent hearing to the banter between the high schoolers Sasha and Connie that Bertolt also employed - Levi now understood why Bertolt was constantly stretching as he took off the jacket that donned his batter splattered figure.

 

“It was decent, Hange. Now get your shitty smile out of my face. Where is Mikasa and Eren?” Levi asked, voiced tired but feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at having completed his first day at work. Hange swept her hands over the large king bed that dominated the medium sized room. Leaning over to get a better look, Levi could see Mikasa and Eren, both still with wet hair covered amongst the hotel sheets he had hand washed himself on their first night there. Sitting down on the end of the bed, Levi felt the bed’s pressure as Hange sat next to him.

 

“Levi….are you ok?”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“I don't know, Le. Maybe it’s because moving across country is something I would do instead of you?” Hange pressed, pressing her hand against the fluffy material of the floral duvet underneath both of them.

 

Levi breathed heavily, too tired for this conversation but knowing he owed his loyal friend an answer.“I just, I couldn’t fucking let them grow up in that shit hole. The amount of shit they gave you and Petra even before I ended up there. That place has a first ticket to whatever hell hole I’ll end up in as well.”

 

“Oh come on, Levi. There’s now way you’ll end up in hell. Leave the mortal damning to me and Nile Dawk who set the Johnson’s barn on fire senior year.” Hange joked, lighting up the mood as she threw herself dramatically back onto the bed. Taking Levi’s silence as a result of exhaustion and the over thinking the former street rat was used to, Hange shifted and shimmied her form to the left side of the large bed. Seeing Levi stand up and start walking towards the shower. Hange managed to whisper a “Good night little man” as unconsciousness dragged her off to sleep.

 

**JEAN’S POV**

His mom’s boyfriend was a douchebag who took his anger out too often on the young blond haired youth and his mother. A ruthless man with a mean right hook that would shatter noses and cheekbones in drunken stupors. A hulking figure of a man who had long substituted Jean and his mother as punching bags after long days in the tire factory in town. Or at least he had been until two months ago when he was found dead from hypothermia a mere blocks from their household.

The police had asked Jean if he had at all thought of his ‘step dad’ on the night of his death and Jean had nodded.

He had thought of him.

As he walked pass the unconscious man on his way home that day from Connie’s and left him there as the first flurries of snow began to pepper the ground. But Jean made sure to keep that part between himself and God - no need to let the police know about that.

 

Combing a hand through his hair, Jean Kirstein stretched his back as the factory’s bell sounded through the large steel building. Punching out his card, Jean took in the dark night that met him as he made his exit out of the metal canister he called a workplace. The abrupt passing of his step dad had led Jean to find a full time job to help his mother make ends meet. So six days a week, from his school’s release at 2:30 until 10:30 - Jean would shove his lanky figure into the factory’s regulated blue jumpsuit and allow the smell of burnt rubber to filtrate his nose. But Jean knew it was a small price for the peace he now found at home. Now, there was no more beatings awaiting for him there. Pushing those thoughts aside, Jean Kirstein put his hard hat under his arm as he made his way to the awaiting van of his friend Connie Springer who head was currently glistening under the parking lot’s shitty lighting. In the passenger side was Connie’s friend in crime Sasha Blouse whose face lit up as she waved at a nearing Jean. Pulling down the passenger window, Jean allow himself to smile as his two childhood friend’s hyped up his arrival.

 

“OH migosh! WHo is he?” Sasha hollered at a blushing Jean.

 

“Damn son, let me get your digits ma!” Connie added as they continued to tease Jean as he opened up the side door and slumped into the horribly both comfortable and unsafe van that was Connie’s car. Named ‘the machina di amor’ by Connie and ‘the virgin fortress’ by nearly everyone else.

 

“Oh shut up you fucking nerds.” Jean let out as a laugh escaped his tired body. Ever since he had gained the job, he could always count on rides to and from with Connie and Sasha. Long life friends, Jean often wondered how he the class asshole had come to befriend the infamous duo of chaos that was Connie and Sasha. He supposed it had started freshman year when he had been tackled into the art room by the breathless duo who dragged him under the desk as they hid from a group of pissed off juniors. But if he was honest, their life long friendship had begun at a much less glorious ‘horse face’ insult and subsequent tumble between the three all the way back in preschool. Shaking away the nostalgia that threatened to make him a bigger softie than he was as of now, Jean smacked Connie’s head as he leaned against their treats.

 

“Hey! Driving here, Jimbo!” Connie yelled, pushing a hand behind his seat in a bid to swat Jean and the trio made their all too familiar route to their homes.

 

“Yeah, Yeah Constantine.” Jean replied, letting a hand slip into the bakery box that stood nursed between Connie and Sasha’s seats. Both workers at the cozy ‘Hoover Cafe’ in town, Jean had long become accustomed to nabbing some of the pastries they were given each night during closing.

 

“How was work?” Jean asked, as his stuffed one of the large and soft pastries into his mouth. Sasha flashed a smile at him as she allowed her body to hang out the open window down their winding road.

 

“You should ask Connie who got a severe roasting from the new guy again.”

 

“Oh shit, what did the new guy tell you today, Connie?” Jean asked between mouthfuls of the ‘to-die-for’ cookies.

 

Dramatically lowering his voice and drawing on a serious impression, Connie cleared his throat as he began his renown impression setup. “I could clean this counter better with a single ass cheek! You! Bald brat, Caillou looking mother fucker!Is that a dust particle lingering in the space in front of the store?! Sasha! Stop getting your gremlin paws in the mix! Bertolt! The brat just breathed in my direction! Springer! I will have your left nut if that table isn’t wiped down in a nanosecond!” Connie mocked as laughter erupted from the group of friends.

 

Wiping away a tear that had began to tread down his cheeks, Jean let out a howl of laughter as he smirked. He had been hearing about the ‘clean freak’ tendencies of the cafe’s newest addition for the last five days but had yet to grow tired of his friend’s harassment.

 

“Yeah, hasn’t even been here a full work but I think Bertl practically nuts everytime he comes in.” Sasha adds in.

 

“Don’t blame him for that. I always said Bertl charged too low for his work, I’m just happy that Levi doesn’t care about not pleasing everyone.” Connie says in agreement.

 

“Damn, he still sounds like such a hardass though.” Jean muttered as their van comes to a halt near their hangout. For the first time grateful of the lack of social interaction at work. Finally forcing his sore figure out of his work clothes, Jean took his time as he changed into jeans and a shirt from his designated pile of stuff in the back of Connie’s van. Ignoring the bustling of his friends as they got out of the car with the bags of snacks they had garnered. Jean was finishing up the buttons on his pants when the routine door knocking disturbed the otherwise silent night.

 

“Jean. ARE YOU DECENT?” Sasha bellowed as she and Connie swung the door open, regardless of response. Rolling his eyes, Jean' s feet landed on the ground below him. as he leaned down to up the bag at Sasha’s feet.

With Connie closing the car doors, Jean allowed himself to follow the duo deeper into the seemingly empty forest path before him.

 

After what seemed like endless brush and offkey singing i.e (“Thick as fuck, ohmigod thats my baby,” from an overly excited Connie and Sasha)

 

Jean could finally make out the slightest shred of light donn their path. Elbowing Sasha and Connie who had long fallen a few steps behind in a bid to sing their songs as loud as possible without risking a kick to their back from a puffing Jean, Connie rushed in front of Jean as he took in the sight before him.

 

“Guys, we’re here!” Connie bellowed into the forest opening to some clapping and usual cheering. Pushing pass an always smiling Connie, now dazzled with adoring classmates. Jean drank in the sight.

Wagner, a blond guy in his algebra class was chugging a beer as he leaned against a heavily graffitied rock. Dina Carolina, the school’s homecoming queen was lighting a blunt with Franz, up and coming mathlete. And in the midst of numerous other familiar faces, Jean allowed his figure to relax as he slid the heavy bag of food off his shoulders.

This town wasn’t shit but it still felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be real, if you're a one person centric fic. This might be a bit effy, I plan for it to be mostly eruri but trust me when I say that I want to nurture all the other ships just as much! Also, the time piece this is set in is rural present time. So you'll recognize a lot of things referenced but with the shitty signal in town, technology hasn't quite caught all the way up. But yeah, hope it was a solid 2/10 :)

**Author's Note:**

> Not currently beta'd. But I promised this one is going to get so good.


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